


of balconies and crushes

by maxelau



Series: of blue, dark gray, and red [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Chance Meetings, Crushes, Fluff, Kim Seungmin is Whipped, Kind of cliche, M/M, Party, Seungmin has a crush, Strangers to Lovers, balconies, god help the boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:01:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26583313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maxelau/pseuds/maxelau
Summary: Hwang Hyunjin. He's tall and lanky, eyes sparkling in the dim light, he's got striking blonde hair that curls right beneath his ears; and god, it would be a lie if Seungmin says that he is not the most beautiful thing he has laid eyes on. Hyunjin's like freshly brought parchment, warm coffee during a rainy morning, newly changed sheets, a ray of sunlight peeking through the window— he's just everything Seungmin ever wanted.But here's the catch, he has no idea who Seungmin is.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin
Series: of blue, dark gray, and red [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2059062
Comments: 31
Kudos: 233





	1. seungmin

**Author's Note:**

> happy 20th birthday my beautiful kim seungmin!!
> 
> [ ❤︎ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZXTuvbX8DM)  
> 

One thing a person should know about Seungmin is that he isn't the best mate to bring to parties. Although he's been to numerous ones, unwillingly, he may add; the booming bass, the shaking floors, the cheap liquor, red cups, the horny, the stoned, and the tired university students never really convinced him to like it.

Since he started university, he has been dragged out of the comfort of his bedroom by his so-called friends. Usually, they managed to do it through bribery and empty promises.

He still goes, though.

Sometimes, he enjoys it too. 

Rarely, actually. 

Only a few parties have ever elicited a smile on his face or with him going home wobbling in the streets, shit faced drunk. It really just depends on who's at the party and what music is playing in the background. 

Hopefully, the one he's at now would end on a more positive note. Not that he wants to get drunk or hook up with a stranger or go home with a prodding headache and a mysterious bruise. 

He just wants to experience something—distract him; to fill that gap inside him. Mostly it’s just an excuse for him to get pumped up and excited for life.

That's why for the past three hours he’s been wandering around Chan’s apartment. His and his friends’ go-to party. 

Felix is rambling beside him, all squints and smiles. His freckled face flush as he goes on and on about this new video game that's been occupying most of his free time. In his own words– “engineering lectures can wait,” playing video games has always been his highest priority. They're both perched on the kitchen counter, taking refuge in one of the more subdued areas of the party. 

He rests his head on one of the cupboards and watches Felix with feigned interest. Seungmin doesn't have the same energy as his friend group, in fact, Jeongin's already probably wreaking havoc on the dance floor; and Dahyun's somewhere, out there, most likely chasing a few other girls. Then there's Jisung, sweet baby chubby-cheeked Jisung, passed out drunk on the kitchen tiles, head resting on Felix's thighs. He’s murmuring something—professor and music and, god knows what else they feed him during musical theory. 

Seungmin takes a swig on his bottle of beer when Dahyun finally saunters in, crop top all meshed up, her white-blonde hair sticking in a crazy way, and her lips puckered red like she's been kissing all night. Which she probably was judging by the very visible hickey blooming on her neck. 

She throws them a questioning glare when she sees Jisung's state. 

"He saw Minho," Seungmin says before she can even utter a word. Felix tunes himself out and gently massages Jisung's hair in a comforting manner.

"Shit," she curses under her breath. Dahyun makes her way towards the fridge and grabs a bottle of water. Then, she crouches to Jisung's level, gently tapping his cheeks. "Come on now buddy. Time to wake up from your slumber."

Jisung responds incoherently, nevertheless, his eyes open and he gives them a goofy little grin. None of them react to Jisung’s drunken stupor. Ever since Minho and Jisung had a fallout, relationship-wise, the guy never forgets to completely get trashed when he and Minho are in the same party. And since both of them belong in the same circle, it was in every damn one.

Then again, Jisung and Minho are notorious for the on and off status of their relationship. It even came to the point that Felix and Dahyun are betting, with pizza not money, when they’d get back together. 

Seungmin can't really tell who could win. Felix’s bet is due next month and Dahyun the following week. Who knows what could happen?

"Ooh, Dahyun! I missed you!" Jisung detaches himself off of Felix and stumbles into Dahyun's arms. Dahyun struggles to catch their friend but successfully kneels and circles her arm around Jisung’s waist. He rests his head on the crook of her shoulder, laughs for a few seconds, before patting Felix’s leg. Then he gags. 

Everyone screams split into the air, causing quite the rumble.

It’s the old trick in the book, well in their book—Felix soothingly strokes the back of Jisung while he pukes and beside him Dahyun takes a video, cheering Jisung on. Seungmin snorts and watches with a slight tinge of amusement. Nothing like good old dickheads for best friends. 

Moments like this remind Seungmin of how young they are, barely understanding the first few years of adulthood. It’s a little reminder that they have a life outside the queries of never-ending lectures, paperwork, and part-time jobs. A life where heartbreak ensues, drunk hookups, getting sucked in in a new TV show, and well, being young in general. 

Seungmin isn’t the biggest party goer but seeing his friends be carefree, though with questionable choices, and being themselves for a few hours of the night during weekends, then going out can be worth it. 

He pauses. Takes a drink from the water bottle in his hand and sighs.

Okay, maybe there’s something else that pulls Seungmin out of his self-proclaimed hermit life.

As he sits comfortably on the counter, he cranes his neck, just a little bit towards the ongoing party on the other side of the room. He spots it. The real reason why he even bothered to stay up this late, get dressed, and sacrifice his studying hours. 

If Seungmin is being honest, it's the real reason he even goes to this mind-splitting, headache-inducing, annoying parties. 

Hwang Hyunjin. He's tall and lanky, eyes sparkling in the dim light, he's got striking blonde hair that curls right beneath his ears, and god, it would be a lie if Seungmin says that he is not the most beautiful thing he has laid eyes on. Hyunjin's like freshly brought parchment, warm coffee during a rainy morning, newly changed sheets, a ray of sunlight peeking through the window— he's just everything Seungmin ever wanted.

And guess what, he has no idea who Seungmin is.

Nevertheless, Seungmin gets up from his bed on weekends and drags himself to every possible party with the hopes that he might just catch a glimpse of Hwang Hyunjin. Sometimes, he's there, sometimes he's not. But when he is, Hyunjin’s presence is enough for Seungmin to cave in and fall like a house of cards. Seungmin could spend hours just watching Hyunjin from afar, while he drinks and laughs, surrounded by his friends. He loves it when Hyunjin’s on the dance floor, toned lithe body swaying around, crashing amongst the tens and hundreds of strangers that night. Hyunjin always looks so blissful, almost free whenever he dances and it just takes Seungmin’s breath away. 

In conclusion, Hwang Hyunjin is definitely an angel whose sole job is to torment Seungmin’s every waking moment. And Seungmin accepts it because he's weak, even smitten; a fucking simp, in Jisung’s words.

Somehow, Felix notices Seungmin’s eyes fleeting again, so he scoots a little closer and whispers, “You found him?”

He nods, unapologetically. Seungmin's friends are used to this, sadly. It’s been years, not months or days. It has been exactly two years. And Seungmin's surprised his friends haven't given up on him.

It’s a work in progress. Seungmin isn’t really shy but he isn’t boisterous or friendly either. He’s neutral. He stays in a safe lane. Conversing with strangers is easy for him. He grew up polite and considerate, the people first before him type, but for god’s sake, when it comes to Hyunjin, he loses all forms of nuance.

The first time Seungmin noticed Hyunjin was when they were still in high school. It was long ago. The yellow and black blazer constricting against his neck and the cheap cloth causing a very evident itch in his skin. Luckily in university, no one bats an eye when one wears hoodies and a pair of sweatpants for lectures. 

It was during one of those rare moments when Seungmin arrived at school before dusk. The parking lot was empty, the halls eerie cold, and the lights were still unlit. 

Seungmin decided it was a great idea to go to the field, sit on the bleachers as he watched the sunrise; eat the convenience store meal he bought while he waited for more students to arrive. 

He thought it would be empty—no athletes training or the maintenance crew fixing something, alas, to his surprise it was occupied.

At the farthest end of the bleachers stood a boy. He was tall, slim, and elegant. Toes on a pirouette, eyes gazing at the dark morning sky, head tilted, hand extended, he began to dance. The metal seats shook, as the boy jumps, twirls on the bleachers. Seungmin could not make out who he was or what year he was from. All he knew that the guy was beautiful— without the sun, he sparkled. Despite the sweat and the ragged black shirt and loose uniform pants, he was ethereal. 

When the boy finally stopped performing, the beat of the music slowly dying—a feat Seungmin only heard seconds after— he felt something. A slow conundrum in his head that slowly pushes down to his heart. It beat louder, heavier. Then, it ignited, a loud crackle as he observed the boy take his bag from one of the seats, not even glancing at Seungmin. 

Maybe he didn't realize he exists or if he did, Seungmin was too far off to be recognizable. As if he knew who Seungmin was and as if he knew who that guy was.

Seungmin wished he approached him that very morning, or the next morning, or the morning after. 

Asked his name, how old he was, what club he was in, and if he was interested to be friends or hopefully, to be more.

But Seungmin was reluctant, held back by a feeling he didn't quite understand, an idea so foreign, that it terrified him. If he latched onto it then maybe he wouldn't let go. 

In the hallways, when the only people he’d notice were his teachers, classmates, and friends, gradually, an additional face came into his peripheral view.

He didn't think he'd see him immediately, hours, days, and weeks later Seungmin would see him. 

Wherever Seungmin goes, he’d see him. Round eyes, a beauty mark under it, plump lips, sharp nose—the face of an angel. 

There it was again. That rhythm in his chest, slow but heavy. It pierced through him. Etching itself in the deepest core of Seungmin’s heart. 

For days he would wonder why. He has never experienced feelings as such. Even hearing the way the boy’s laugh across the hall was enough for Seungmin to jump out of his shoes and seek it. 

The sound of it caught him off-guard. On a bad day, just hearing it would turn his mood upside down. It’s boisterous and genuine tune would always stay in his head, sometimes for hours, in some weird cases, for days. 

Once, they spoke once. It was before graduation. A few more days and Seungmin would never see him or even hear him laugh again. He thought he’d risk it. Approach Hyunjin, ask him for his number, if he’s feeling extra ballsy, ask him out on a date. 

It was afternoon, the library was empty. No one has been in it recently since the exam season has already ended. But Seungmin, like always, hungry for knowledge and the smell of old and fresh parchment, would frequently visit it. It was during this time that he finally gave up. To no avail, during the earlier hours, he did not see nor heard of Hyunjin. Tomorrow was their graduation ceremony and it would be weird to approach the guy when he was surrounded by his friends and family. 

Seungmin thought it was a good idea to exhaust his library card one last time. 

He greeted Jihoon, a student assistant and a junior of his. They weren't close but not strangers either. Due to Seungmin’s daily visits they’ve grown accustomed to each other’s presence and have exchanged a few words ever so often.

That day, Jihoon congratulated him, even gave him a book as some sort of gift. It wasn't something expensive, just a second-hand novel from their favorite author. Seungmin, ecstatic, gladly received the small gesture. He promised to help Jihoon with his university applications and exams and to keep in touch. With Seungmin, one last time, signing his name in the logbook, they parted ways.

As he made his way through multiple towering shelves, scouring the fiction section; a genre he rarely let himself indulge for he always needed to read academically enriched books and not literature. But that day was a celebration and the last of his visits. He might as well read something he rarely chose.

That was when he bumped into him. Heaps of books stacked in a library trolley hit Seungmin right on the shin. He groaned. Glare already on his face, he wobbled a little to see who his perpetrator was. He was prepared to give him a piece of his mind.

The moment their eyes met Seungmin’s hand froze along with his whole body. 

“I apologize,” when the guy spoke Seungmin took all of it in. The way his intonation ended or how the tone was a simple harmony of boyhood. To others, it would have sounded the same, like any eighteen-year- old’s voice. To Seungmin it was different. It was like liquid adrenaline being injected at him. His heart raced. His pulse throbbed. His lips quivered. 

It was his last day. 

The last time he would ever see him. He might as well, right?

“I- it’s alright,” Seungmin mumbled. 

“Are you sure, I hit you pretty hard with this thing,” he gestured towards the trolley and the pile of unshelved books. 

Seungmin gulped, eyes trained on his hands instead, “I’m sure it’s nothing. It was also my fault for not looking.”

“If you say so. I’m sorry man, it’s my last day here and Mr. Lee made sure high school is still a living hell till the end.” 

Hyunjin chuckled. It’s abrupt, like a snap, but Seungmin’s flutter at the tune of it. Seungmin stole a quick glimpse of the way Hyunjin’s eyes would crinkle and how he would sweep his black hair out of his bright eyes. 

“Do you need help?” the question flying out of his mouth before he could even stop himself. Hyunjin, wide eyes, replied, “I— I would appreciate that. But I’m pretty sure the kid over there would bust my ass and tell Mr. Lee,” Hyunjin pointed at Jihoon’s direction. The junior was watching both of them with curious eyes since it was only the two of them who were in the library along with two more quiet students. 

Seungmin fought a smile on his face and threw Jihoon a subtle wave. “Don’t worry I’ll talk to Jihoon.” 

Hyunjin beamed and cheered which earned him a very stern sush from one of the students. Seungmin chuckled softly and silently gestured for Hyunjin to lead the way. 

For the last thirty minutes of Seungmin’s high school life, he spent it by arranging books in order in silence. Beside him was a warm presence of a man who, for short moments, gave light to his dull and repetitive days. Seeing him in the hallways or in the field, performing, dancing freely, or hearing him shout from the distance when he sees his friends was enough. 

Tongue-tied, Seungmin tried his best to open up a conversation but every time he ever so glanced at Hyunjin’s direction, if he wasn’t distracted by the way the guy’s hair would flutter, he’s distracted by Hyunjin’s furrowed brows and the serious pout on his lips. Besides, it’s the library, even whispering wasn’t enough to contain silence. In fact, he might end up laughing too much or rambling like an idiot.

“Thank you for helping a stranger like me. I hope university goes well for you,” Hyunjin said after he managed to gather his things. He winked at Seungmin and with a salute, he started walking the opposite side of the hallway. As he watched Hyunjin disappear in a corner, while holding on to the straps of his bag, Seungmin wished he said more. 

Those words lingered in his mind until he graduated. _Stranger._

* * *

“You should talk to him,” Felix suggests, nudging Seungmin’s side in a teasing way. 

“I don't think that's a good idea,” he replies aimlessly, unsure of what to make of the situation. The recalling of such memory left a bitter feeling in his tongue. He hates it. How he had the chance, all laid out on a platter for him to take but he chickened out. 

Imagine the surprise he experienced when he saw Hwang Hyunjin, three months later in the same university and in the building as he. 

His heart practically leaped out of his chest and almost offered itself to Hyunjin, luckily he was level-headed, more composed, and mature compared to his high school self. Yet, the more he saw of Hyunjin, the worse he got. And when he learned that Hyunjin frequent parties, the rest was history. 

A little later on, Seungmin finds himself on the dance floor, bobbing his head to some western pop music with Felix. Both Jisung and Dahyun are nowhere to be found. They’ve either opted to bale out, which is highly unlikely or are in a more secluded place. Jisung is already probably passed out on some sofa and Dahyun is flirting with a few girls she finds interesting. 

Maybe he should leave too. It is just another party, nothing new, nothing special. Besides, he already got his weekly fill of Hwang Hyunjin.

Seungmin is about to leave when he caught sight of him—flushed cheeks, blonde streaks, bright eyes, and a beauty mark right below one of them. His plump lips in a wide grin and god his flexible body doing wonders on the dance floor. 

Seungmin freezes.

He’s utterly mesmerized. It's ridiculous. He wonders why he's so captivated by a guy he barely spoke to, a guy who barely knew him.

But alas, Hwang Hyunjin is Hwang Hyunjin, and _have you seen him?_ His beauty is impeccable, out of this world, almost unrealistic at times. 

Hyunjin’s dancing, half of his dress shirt is unbuttoned so Seungmin could catch a glimpse of his chest. His hair tied into a man bun, little strands of it clinging onto his sweaty forehead sparking in the dark. He looks good, incredibly so that Seungmin feels something cooked inside him as if a flame was ignited. 

Abruptly, Seungmin whips head away, looking for a way out of the sea of dancing people. He needed to get out, just for a moment.

“Where are you going?” Felix asks when he finally starts retreating. His face isn't as red as earlier and judging by the water bottle in one of his hands, Felix's sober.

Seungmin shrugs, “balcony.”

Felix raises an eyebrow, “I thought you quit?”

“I did,” he admits. “But I still love going outside. Breathing fresh air does wonders.”

“You know this is a busy city where trees barely exist and carbon monoxide is everywhere?”

Seungmin rolls his eyes and rolls the edge of each sleeve in his shirt. 

“Relax, it's just too stuffy in here.”

Felix eyes him, Seungmin isn't sure if it's because he doesn't believe Seungmin’s words or he is simply and genuinely confused. Then again, this wasn’t the first time copped out and left everyone because he was too tired to party. 

“All right. I’ll call you when we're going to leave. Don't take too long.”

Despite his words, Seungmin doesn't immediately go to the balcony. He takes a quick detour, scouring the floor and multiple rooms for Jisung and Dahyun. He just wants to check on them and hope that they're okay. Yet, the only person he spots is Jisung, curled beside Changbin, one of his friends from his underground rapper gig. 

He would’ve greeted them but something in him made him stop. An inkling feeling that for the moment he wanted to be alone. 

On the other hand, Dahyun is nowhere to be found. Nevertheless, this isn’t the first time. That girl is on a whole new level of mystery. Seungmin wouldn’t even be surprised if she pops out in front of his apartment for a Sunday brunch or something.

When Seungmin catches a glimpse of an open glass door on one of the accessible bedrooms, he slips in and closes the door. The booming music turning into a soft thump on the wooden floors. From his peripheral no one seems to be inside the room nor the balcony. He smiles softly, it has been a while since he observed the moon. 

Seungmin steps out and almost trips along the way.

“Oh, I thought it was unoccupied,” Seungmin says, eyes fixated on the man’s face— plump lips, bright eyes— _you have got to be fucking kidding with me._

_Deja vu._

“It's alright,” the other replies, gesturing for Seungmin to come out, almost like an invitation.

Seungmin looks back at the party behind him, he doesn't see any recognizable faces. He takes a deep shaky breath and lets his heart shake in terror and excitement. It would also be too weird if he suddenly just said disappear. He’s here now anyway.

He steps out and meets Hyunjin’s eyes. 

Then it happened. A loud crash inside his head that ignites his heart. 

“Hey, can you close the door? This is Chan’s room. He’d be mad if I let a wisp of cold air get in.”

Seungmin just stares, the cogs in his brain going haywire, he’s sure he’s going to explode any given moment. 

“Sure,” Seungmin manages to mumbles instead. He lets the cool glass slide against his palm as he closes it. That is when he feels it. A prickling feeling on his spine as if someone is watching him intently. 

_It can’t be._ He peeks behind and he is greeted by Hyunjin’s strong gaze. He almost withers in response. There’s this itch in his hand and lips. Unconsciously he pats his back for the familiar box in his back pocket, unfortunately, he finds it empty. 

“Do you smoke?” Hyunjin asks later on when Seungmin is finally leaning on the balcony, the cold air stroking the hairs off of his face. The balcony isn’t big, in fact, it’s just enough to fit in two grown men, a bunch of dried potted plants, and an empty clothes rack. 

Seungmin’s arm is literally an inch away from touching Hyunjin. He badly wants to scream.

“Oh no, I quit before I let it get the best of me.” It’s a bit of semblance of the truth. He was worse during his freshman year, especially after a harrowing finals paper he couldn’t ace and being benched during baseball season. It was bad. Seungmin doesn’t really like to dwell back on it.

“Good for you. This sounds dumb but I never tried it.” Hyunjin replies and admits.

“Really? That’s interesting coming from someone like you,” Seungmin says before he could stop himself. He almost squeaks but manages to take a shaky intake of breath instead. Hopefully, Hyunjin doesn’t notice. 

“Like me?” Hyunjin asks, his eyebrow arching and a playful smirk on his face. 

“I—” Seungmin blinks rapidly, hand sweating and his cheeks flushing. He wants to curse out loud but yields himself. Instead, he scrambles to find a way out of the mess he created and decides to suddenly avert the subject, awkwardly, he may add. 

“What are you doing out here anyway? You were doing incredible on the dance floor,” he asks while he stretches his arm into the open space, comically trying to reach the adjacent building. He isn’t sure if he looked stupid or cute. He hopes it's the latter.

Hyunjin flips around, back against the railing, eyes up in the evening clouds. “You were watching me?” Hyunjin mumbles, a slight smile to his voice. 

Seungmin licks his lips. _Abort mission._ This is getting worse. Months of partying never really prepared him for flirting. In his defense though, even if some people showed interest in him he never really reciprocated their desire to flirt or to make out in some dingey closet or the bathroom. His eyes were always fixed on Hyunjin.

“Yeah?” 

Where is this sudden courage coming from? Although his answers are lame and far from how he imagined he’d be talking with Hyunjin, this wasn’t that bad.

Hyunjin chuckles, his lips quirk and there’s an adorable dimple on it. Seungmin swears he’d capture it in his memory for the rest of his life. No turning back now, if he fucks this conversation up and Hyunjin decides he would forget Seungmin like some weird drunk escapade then he'll be fine with it. At least he got to talk to him again, up close, and make him smile.

“You’re really cute,” Hyunjin mumbles a second later. Abrupt, throwing Seungmin off-guard. He whips his head towards Hyunjin’s direction, blinking rapidly.

“Excuse me?” Eyes, bright and round looking at Seungmin. Adorning his lips is a small subtle smile. 

This cannot be real.

“Cute, adorable,” Hyunjin shrugs. “What really surprised me is you were watching me dance? Who would watch me?” Slowly, Hyunjin’s fingers are a mere centimeter away from Seungmin’s hand. 

“Again,” Seungmin emphasizes pointedly, eyes wide, his grip on the rails getting tighter. “You're you.”

This time, Hyunjin’s whole body faces Seungmin. It must be his imagination but Hyunjin’s eyes were focused intently at him, “And what’s with me? You gotta work with me here, I know who I am but the way you're putting it makes me curious.” 

Seungmin gulps, his hands turning cold, his heartbeat drumming in his ears, and his breathing becoming even more shallow. This was worse than stage fright, not only was his stomach somersaulting, his whole body was disjointed. There’s this immense desire to run away, but like before Seungmin feels like he’ll regret it. 

Besides, the pink on his lips, the subtle sweat across his face twinkling in the twilight of the moon, the mess dress shirt, and the man bun are enough to render Seungmin speechless. 

_Oh fuck,_ seventeen-year-old Seungmin would kill to be in his shoes right now. He’s standing, inches away, body-heat almost radiating, while they bask in the moonlight, albeit not as romantic as it sounds, in front of the one and only—

“Hwang Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin almost trips. On what? Well, Seungmin doesn’t know the exact answer. All he sees is Hyunjin choking with his own drink after Seungmin, with a slip of his slippery tongue, says Hyunjin's name, out loud, like a freaking stalker. 

Seungmin winces and avoids every semblance of eye contact with the guy who literally if he lets him, own Seungmin’s heart. 

“Y-you know who I am?”

It’s Seungmin turn to trip on some magical invisible force between the two of them. Somehow, by some sheer dumb luck, Hyunjin catches Seungmin. The first time they’ve ever had any physical contact. 

Kim Seungmin’s literally going to explode any minute now. They’re so close, that when Seungmin lifts his head to meet Hyunjin’s gaze he could see the honey-brown speckles littered in his pupils or how long his eyelashes were. 

“I’m sorry,” Seungmin says. Hyunjin shakes his head. The light from the moon fell over his face faintly, beautifully, and even in the scant light of the night, Seungmin could not believe his eyes. There he sees a touch of pink both on Hyunjin’s cheeks. He hopes it isn’t the alcohol or the trick of the light, but he knows this isn’t just some sick joke from fate or another story to be dubbed one of those embarrassing moments in life. This is different. 

“You’re Hwang Hyunjin, English department, vice-captain of the university’s dance club. And have you seen your face?” 

Hyunjin blinks, his lips caught between his teeth as if he’s fighting a smile. “I know who you are too. Kim Seungmin.”

This unleashes something inside of Seungmin. A warm muted buzzing feeling harmonizing with the flailing of his heart. As if there’s a sudden change in the air that makes Seungmin believe—no, hope, that there’s a chance, that this is it. A momentous glorious part of Seungmin’s life. It’s a feeble thought, a little too much close to every cliche movie, Hyunjin barely knows him, he barely knows Seungmin but then again, the way Hyunjin’s fingers inches, in a delicate manner, closer towards Seungmin’s own. Hyunjin’s thumb drawing comforting circles on the back of Seungmin’s hand, he cannot help it and let the wind take him to wherever it wishes to be led. 

They’re holding hands. 

_Holy shit._

The weight Seungmin feels against his palm is real, a real solid object. A warm, lingering feeling that makes Seungmin dizzy. 

“H-how do you know me?” He manages to ask before he feels the tug on his hand, pulling him closer to Hyunjin. 

_Oh_ , Seungmin almost gasps. _He’s a little taller, his shoulders are a little broader too—_ wow, this is a whole different territory. A part of Hyunjin Seungmin never thought he was going to see, let alone witness at such close proximity. 

“I could ask you the same.”

Seungmin avoids eye contact but nevertheless his peripheral view is filled with Hyunjin’s presence. Wherever he went, he could smell him, see him, and surprisingly, touch him. 

“I— it was years ago. We used to go to the same school,” Seungmin admits. The blush on his cheeks probably worse than before. Here he was after years of hiding, he tells Hyunjin the truth.

Hyunjin looks at him with a small smile, “I know.”

Seungmin's heart stops, “What?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in a hazy state of reverie, i managed to write what could be the biggest regret in my life. this isn't one of my best work but i just really loved the idea of seungmin falling for hyunjin in a very crush manner. nothing special, just the simplicity of being young and falling for someone your age. even after years, he'd still be pinning. 
> 
> the next chapter answers a lot of questions and since this is only three parts, the last one will be the epilogue! 
> 
> thank you for reading, i would love to read your thoughts on the comments. 
> 
> or we can talk on my [ twitter ](https://twitter.com/jenseungs)  
> 


	2. hyunjin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kim Seungmin. Black fluffy hair gleaming in the moonlight, slanted eyes, sharp nose, puffy cheeks, and cute crooked teeth that peaks when he smiles. He’s like summer littered with cotton clouds, sweet colorful candy, the feeling of a newly poured cup of warm tea, smooth expanse of a crisp paper— he was everything Hyunjin found comfortable in life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy!!

There’s something about balconies—black skies, barely twinkling stars, the dominating bright moon. Then there’s also the silence it comes with, although brief, individually distributed in small pockets of time; it’s comforting. In a thunderous city like Seoul, cars are inevitably in every single corner, lurking, roaring. Sometimes followed by the rain or the sweeping sirens. Nevertheless, Hyunjin enjoys every single minute of it. 

No matter how many times Hyunjin visits multiple houses, either to party and dance all night or to simply hang out and study, he would always ask the host if they have a balcony. Other times he’d do it alone. He would scour the place like it was some sort of little adventure.

At first, people thought he was a smoker, and of course, without a second thought, he’d retaliate with a second thought. Of course not, not in his lifetime. He didn't hate it but the strong musky and acidic smell never really sat well with him. It always made him cough and gag at times. As long as his companions didn't do it next to him he really didn't care. 

The real reason why Hyunjin is dead-set at locating balconies and staying there is for one sole purpose only.

Kim Seungmin. Black fluffy hair gleaming in the moonlight, slanted eyes, sharp nose, puffy cheeks, and cute crooked teeth that peaks when he smiles. He’s like summer littered with cotton clouds, sweet colorful candy, the feeling of a newly poured cup of warm tea, smooth expanse of a crisp paper— he was everything Hyunjin found comfortable in life.

He always watched him, well hidden in the corner of the room, hidden behind a potted plant, the crowded dance floor, or if he was feeling extra hyped and drunk that night by the kitchen door where Seungmin’s friends always flock together. 

How it all started is a memory Hyunjin has etched in the deepest core of his brain. He knows how it went—what song that was playing in the background, where the party was, and the time; and even the reason why it carved a significant memory, not in his mind, but something else. 

Saturday, 1:30 AM. Freshman year. The party was at its core. Most of its dwellers are thumping in the living room. Spilled alcohol everywhere, missing furniture, a collective mixture of smoke from cigarettes, to juuls, and even the occasional roll of a blunt. Blinding party lights obscuring the dance floor and the booming bass that would definitely leave a lasting throb in his head. Hyunjin moved across the plain of people, dodging sweaty bodies and frisky hands. Chan was somewhere, probably hanging out with a bunch of people he just met. Jeongin is somewhere with Minho, if they aren't in the kitchen tormenting the refrigerator, they're probably on the dance floor making a fool of themselves. 

Hyunjin sweeps past women who give him a little wave and a smile. He bows in response and returns the gesture idly. A few other men whoop his name and tip their beer bottles in his direction. He waves back in response, not knowing their names and even recalling their faces, a feat quite common since he started university. According to Jeongin, it’s his face. It’s the kind everyone wants to stare at. Hyunjin begged to differ but Minho would butt in that it’s not only his face, that’s just an added bonus. It's his dance. Again, Hyunjin would disagree— _it’s just dancing. Anyone can dance as long as they try._

 _“Kid,”_ Minho would start, hand patting Hyunjin’s shoulder; like a father consoling his son. _“no one dances with that face of yours.”_

Hyunjin would give up, he’d let it be. Being popular never really crossed his mind. Then again, thousands of followers on social media should be the first sign of it and the numerous love letters found in his shoe locker back in high school should be clear enough for him. Thinking back on it, his life felt like a bad shoujo anime plot. 

Now that he's in university, even though the popularity phenomena has died down by a notch, it doesn't mean it bothers him anymore, it still kind of does. That's why after a few sips of alcohol and getting his fill on the dance floor, he disappears.

After more faceless people who asked him to join their small group for bar hopping or to dance with him, he hastily declined them and quickened his pace.

He then moved into a more private room, the farthest corner—Chan’s bedroom. No one really goes in here, unless they know of Chan or if they were incredibly drunk.

Gently, he unlocked the knob and stepped in. What came next was an unexpected feat. 

On the balcony stood a guy, obscured by the night, only the glow of the moon that highlights his hazelnut hair and face. Somehow, Hyunjin recognized his face. Beyond the tens and twenty faces, he saw that night, this one seemed to have sparked a memory in him. He can't seem to put his finger in it.

That very night, Hyunjin watched him, in the safety of Chan’s bedroom door. He didn't let himself in and watched the stranger standing on the balcony. Sometimes, his back against Hyunjin, sometimes his side profile peeking. He kept on thinking, racking his brain for a memory, a sign. This guy, he felt like he knew him. Not personally, but at some point in his life they met. It could be back in high school? But Hyunjin knew everyone in their school. He’d recall someone like this, who was, you know, cute.

As Hyunjin fought with his memories, the guy fished for his phone. A purple-ish case, but with the low lighting, Hyunjin could only make out the yellow smiling emoji on it. After that, the guy grabbed something else, a pack of cigarettes. 

Hyunjin watched in amazement and confusion, with a face as such who knew they would smoke. The guy looked like someone who would sit in front of the class, notebooks sprawled, an assortment of colorful pens at his disposal. When the teacher asked a question, his hands would immediately shoot up, answer flying effortlessly off of his mouth. 

Yet, this was university, a far-flung experience from the likes of high school. Everything and everyone is a mixture of anything. Stereotypes are thrown off the window, no one is like the other. 

Still, it is peculiar to find someone as pristine as this guy—pastel button-up shirt tucked into a pair of washed-out light blue jeans, white sneakers, and fluffy brown hair; to be smoking like he was some sort of manhwa bad-boy protagonist, quite the opposite of a boy next door second lead.

Somehow, Hyunjin still watched him, incredibly intrigued, questioning how he ended up on the balcony in the first place, and why? With such a face, why?

That night, Minho found him and took him unwillingly out of the comfort of Chan’s room. Until the very last second, the guy on the balcony never spotted him or if he did, he didn't care that Hyunjin was creepily observing him from the corner of a dark room. If it were him he would've either screamed or run out. But the guy didn't, he minded his own business, occasionally puffing out smokes into the thin cool air, or browsing through his phone. It was also that very night Hyunjin wondered why he never approached him, asked him why he looked familiar, and maybe then things would’ve been different.

The next day, Hyunjin found himself wedged between Minho’s feet, Jeongin’s torso, Changbin’s arm, and Chan’s hand on his face. Groaning, the blurry memories of the night slowly unfolding in his head while he tried to bear his surroundings. Last night, Chan’s room was a black mysterious vortex, now that the sunlight beamed through the open balcony he could see everything clearly. An array of clothes littered on the wooden floor, the mini makeshift studio in one corner, and the video game station on the other. Gym equipment at the foot of the bed and amazingly, posters from Chan’s DJing gig. 

Hyunjin sighed, gently discarding the many limbs of his friends. When his foot touched the cool floor, he spotted one of the gray hoodies he lent Chan and wore it. 

He took a peek at the living space, much to his dismay, the place was a total wreck. Empty beer bottles, party poppers, plastic cups, and to his disgust and surprise, clothes. Hyunjin pursed his lips and opted to ditch the place and let the guys do the hard work, but then again, his body felt like lead; walking out of this place felt more like a chore than sweeping Chan’s apartment clean. 

He huffed, closed the bedroom door, and decided to hang by the balcony for a while. Stepping out, the brisk warm air along with the streaming sunlight cleared his senses. Stretching his body, he noticed the floor was clean, triggering a specific memory. Not a single butt of cigarette a was on sight; even a spec of ash dust. Hyunjin chuckled in amusement. The guy was really a goody-two-shoes.

* * *

Chan jumped out of nowhere, grabbing both Minho and Hyunjin by the neck dragging them under one of the trees. It was your typical Wednesday morning. The sun was warm, students walked in either slow desolated motions or in a speed that could rival The Flash. The open spaces were occupied by students, studying, hanging out, or who were sleeping. 

“He sent in the vocals for my new song!” Chan beamed. Minho and Hyunjin exchange looks of confusion. This was another of Chan’s sudden frenzy, a feat both of them are already used to. The senior cheered in excitement, jumping up and down; and with his admirable strength managed to carry Minho and Hyunjin for a brief second.

“Okay, okay,” Minho wheezed when their feet finally touched the grass. 

“What do you mean by vocals? Did Changbin finally agree to sing for one of your songs?” Hyunjin asked. Chan shook his head, a smile still on his face. 

“It’s Sky,” he said in amazement. Hyunjin paused in his tracks, eyed Chan suspiciously. Minho on the other hand was left to his own devices, incredibly confused.

“Sky? Like the clouds, the blue sky—what?” Minho asked.

“No,” Chan and Hyunjin answered simultaneously. _It can't be._ Hyunjin mused to himself. Nevertheless, there was a bubble of excitement forming in his stomach. If Chan was really telling the truth, Hyunjin might actually scream in delight. 

“I got Sky to feature on one of my tracks, Hyunjin.” Chan grabbed both of Hyunjin’s hands, pulling him in as they both started to jump.

“Holy shit!” Hyunjin squeaked, gripping harder on Chan. The excitement moments away from popping. He fought the biggest grin from spreading on his face, making his cheeks sore.

Sky, a SoundCloud cover artist Hyunjin once discovered when Chan told him about his and Changbin’s side projects. Except for their classical music studies, Chan and Changbin, a sophomore and a senior respectively, enjoyed playing with electronic beats and creating rap

music. It was one random night, Chan linked his and Changbin’s new track, redirecting to Soundcloud. After a few minutes of streaming the hard-hitting beats and understanding the incredibly complex lyric choice by his two friends, Hyunjin decided to explore more artists on the site. Right in time, Sky uploaded a cover for Hyunjin’s favorite idol group—JJ Project.

Thus, he let himself get drowned by the angelic vocals of this mysterious guy. His vocal tone was unique to the point that Hyunjin was sure he could recognize the guy’s voice if he so sang a tune. That very night, Hyunjin got immersed with Sky’s covers and eventually, he created his own account, not to post his own music, but to simply show support and comment whenever Sky posts new music. On a side note, it was also killing two birds with one stone, he followed Chan and Changbin’s too, teasing them at times.

Days of listening turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, and finally, it has turned into a year. Without a doubt, Hyunjin’s sleeping routine involved going to Sky’s SoundCloud page and playing his mellow cover songs, usually songs sung by the likes of IU and, what seems to be Sky’s favorite band, DAY6. 

Later on, just hearing Sky’s voice wasn’t enough for Hyunjin. He was curious, incredibly so to the point that he’d check all of Sky’s description boxes waiting for that one time Sky might have accidentally linked his other social media accounts. To his dismay, Sky’s social media presence was none—zero almost. As if the only proof of his very existence was his voice. Not that Hyunjin was complaining, but it wasn’t bad to put a face over such an angelic voice.

For months Hyunjin hid this from his friends. He wanted the idea of appreciating Sky all to himself. Someday, when he was ready he’d tell them that some dude, around their age lulls him to sleep. 

Even during the time his grandfather passed, Hyunjin listened to all of Sky’s heartbreaking cover songs. The emotions he poured into channeled through Hyunjin’s sentimental heart. Each word piercing, each note uncovering a pain he tried so hard to hide. 

It was during a casual conversation between the group when Hyunjin revealed his fondness towards Sky. Chan was experiencing insomnia, one of the many reasons why pushing out a whole new song is causing him trouble. 

“How do you guys sleep at night, you know without all the meds and stuff?” Rice full mouth and a mellow disposition. Everyone on the table knew Chan wasn't himself. 

Changbin lowered his chopsticks and looked at Chan straight in the eye. “ASMR,” he replied. Chan threw him a suspicious look. “Really? Those things make me cringe and curl. Rather than helping me sleep it might help me stay awake.”

Changbin shrugged, “I tried. Your turn.” He pointed at Jeongin.

“I hide in my covers? I like it when it's dark.”

Chan thought for a brief moment. “That could work but wherever my environment is, I couldn't even sleep a wink.”

Jeongin shook his head and looked pointedly at Minho, who, surprisingly, had fallen asleep. His lunch tray was empty and his things already packed in his bag. 

“I listen to this guy called Sky,” the words slipped out of Hyunjin’s mouth before he could stop himself.

Chan perked in his seat, paying attention to Hyunjin. Hyunjin fiddled with the noodle in his bowl, embarrassed, regretful? He really can't tell. 

“Who’s Sky?” Changbin asked.

“Uhm,” Hyunjin pursed his lips. “He’s a SoundCloud singer I found not so long ago.” 

There way Chan burrowed his eyebrows indicated only two things he was either confused or interested. Hyunjin felt like it was the latter. Chan hummed, “Can you link me to his profile.”

* * *

“How the heck did you get him?” Hyunjin asked when both he and Chan were finally seated. Minho opted to go to the library and study, leaving them. _I got no time to join your little weird celebration. Unlike you guys, I have two more lectures left._ He then walked away mumbling how the arts and humanities students are so aloof while engineering students are a second away from running and screaming. Hyunjin wanted to retort that they’re all just tired but decided not to when they have something more important at hand.

_Sky._

“You know Jisung right?” Chan inquired.

Hyunjin shook his head, “Not entirely familiar. Heard of him though, music major?”

“Yeah. He’s been in a few of Changbin’s tracks and I met him a few times at district nine. He's a funny, well-rounded musician, and get this, he’s friends with Sky,” Chan mumbled the last part, gesturing for Hyunjin to lower his head and come closer as if they were sharing top-secret information.

Hyunjin gasped, hand flying to his mouth. “Oh Bang Christopher Chan, did you meet him?” 

He couldn’t help it, the idea that Sky was so close yet so far from him 

“No, Jisung wouldn't even reveal his real name. Though Jisung managed to convince the guy to do the collab. Apparently, my emails were left to dust if it weren't for the kid.” 

“Man, I at least want to put a face on his voice. It must be as angelic as his voice, don't you think?”

“Doesn't he have an Instagram account? I personally haven't checked it out, but he did ask me to link it when I credit him.”

Hyunjin sat there, watching Chan in disbelief. The wind picking its pace, whipping past his hair waking him from his reverie. Finally, he can put a face on that amazing voice.

“Give me his username,” He demanded, opening his Instagram, search bar ready, keyboard loaded. Chan simply shook his head in amusement, dimples showing. 

_skymin_

Without any second-thought, Hyunjin typed in the name; his foot tapping aggressively shaking the table. 

“Dude, chill. You’ll see it in a second,” Chan said. 

Right on cue, the account popped out— around 35.3K followers and a following of 128. _Not bad._ But what really killed Hyunjin’s mood were the two pictures posted. One was only a hand doing a peace sign, while the other was nothing but the blue skies. 

Hyunjin frowned. Beside him, Chan simply whistled. “Well, that was anticlimactic,” he mused. Hyunjin simply glared at Chan. Despite the disappointment that was blooming in his chest, he still tapped the follow button. Hopefully, any time soon, Sky would post his face. Hyunjin didn’t even care if it was only his mouth, he just wanted something. 

“When are you going to meet for a collab again?”

“Soon.” The cheeky smile on Chan’s face said otherwise.

* * *

This particular party was loud, boisterous, big; the type that could get them extremely in trouble if they did it in Chan’s apartment. Then again, they need a house five times bigger than Chan’s small space. This was a full-blow two-story western house located in the upper north of Seoul where most of the affluent people live. Hyunjin swore he saw one of the actors from that film Parasite walk by when Changbin and he drove by a towering mansion on the way. Hyunjin was not sure how Chan managed to squeeze him and the other guys in a party that could probably cost more than all of their rents combined. But as Hyunjin watched Changbin drive confidently—one arm resting on the open, the other on the wheel, it seemed like it took someone more than Chan to get them in.

Hyunjin walked past the numerous sticking bodies, his legs shaking in exhaustion. Even if dancing was his hobby, doing it in a crowded room, heat at its peak, the beat faster than usual, took quite a toll in his body. 

He made his way to the kitchen, a few people had occupied the breakfast bar while others sat on the long counter. Honestly, the kitchen was larger than his own apartment. In the corner of his eyes, he spotted the reason why he stopped shouting and banging his head with Changbin. However, the refrigerator was being ransacked by another dude, bottles clinking as he crouched down. Hyunjin hovered around him, waiting for the guy to finish taking his fill of alcohol. From the back, the guy felt familiar. When Hyunjin went closer and saw his side profile, something sparked in his mind.

Brown hair, a white dress shirt tucked inside his blue jeans, jean jacket and converse, and those pair of soft eyes. The balcony, the smoke, the face. It was the same guy from before. Hyunjin’s heart skipped a beat in excitement. He was here too. _Interesting_. 

The guy was humming something, a familiar tune of some sort; and even with Hyunjin’s minimal knowledge in music, he could tell he sang on the tune. That wasn't the only thing that piqued Hyunjin’s senses, it was the way the sound came out of him. Was it his tone of voice or the way it sounded? Hyunjin couldn't put his finger on it. 

Hyunjin was about to ask what song he was singing just to kill the curiosity that was overwhelming him; however, fate has different plans. 

As the guy cradled what seemed to be six bottles of canned beers, he suddenly paused when he saw Hyunjin up close. The guy’s eyes were wide and his mouth agape. Unsure of what to do, Hyunjin stepped back and let him pass by. But the other stayed firmly rooted on the ground, looking at Hyunjin as if he was some sort of ghost. It was kind of cute. 

“Uhm, do you need any help?” Hyunjin asked, offering his hand. The guy finally blinked—once, twice before shaking his head and zipping away. Hyunjin was now the one who was glued on the floor, slightly shocked, not offended, just confused. 

Nevertheless, the party continued and Hyunjin saw no sign of the weird, mysterious, albeit cute, guy.

To be honest, he was kind of disappointed.

It was a Wednesday evening. Hyunjin has managed to pass all his paperwork hours before the deadline. Finally, he could lounge on his bed and let the night set loose. He finally had free time to laze around. So, like any other child of the 21st century, he opened his social media accounts and started scrolling through. 

His Instagram was flooded with unread direct messages he ignored. Rolling across the expanse of his single bed he plopped onto his shoulder and tapped on Jeongin’s story— he was at a concert with some of his classmates; Chan was in the studio he frequently rented; Minho was throwing toys at his cats. Meanwhile, Hyunjin’s old high school friends were at some sort of street festival, some of them were studying, cursing their school work, or simply posing for a nice picture.

Hyunjin then moved on to the actual pictures. He refreshed his feed and when a new picture popped out, posted a few seconds. His eyes zoomed in on the contents of the picture and almost screamed. 

  
  


Blonde hair and those brown eyes, that was most definitely Bang Chan. Beside him was someone Hyunjin did not recognize. _It can’t be._ If it was really him, he was, well— _adorable._

He took a deep breath. Shut his eyes for a moment and buried his face deep into one of his pillows. 

Finally, he could put a face, well half of it, on the man whose voice he adored to the moon and back. Opening his eyes again, he stared at the photo—brown curling hair, wide bright eyes. Further inspection and if Hyunjin was being honest, staring, Sky felt familiar. It was like a tune, you were once fond of as a kid but have completely forgotten the title and how the lyrics went. 

Has he seen Sky before? Did he catch a glimpse of him at a cafe or better at university? Hyunjin thought those two could be the only explanation. His fingers tingle in anticipation. If he did, he was so close. Nevertheless, there was one answer to his question.

Chan.

_Kim Seungmin._ Hyunjin has never heard of him. Besides, there were a lot of Kims and Seungmin isn’t the most unique one too. But at one point, they must’ve met, right? Given how small their campus was, they must’ve exchanged a few words, right? 

Trying to recall the most minuscule of his memories, Hyunjin shut his eyes tightly. Nothing. There was no Kim Seungmin that come to mind. But the face, or half of it, Hyunjin could not help but wonder, had he seen him before? 

  
  


Terrified. Excited. Hyunjin can’t seem to contain himself in one area. So, as the night got deeper and his bedroom darker, Hyunjin pondered. In a few days, he was going to meet Sky, no, Seungmin. How the hell will it go?

* * *

The moment he spotted him, Hyunjin knew. _God damn it, Bang Chan._ No. _God damn it Hyunjin. You should have known._

Like the night before, Seungmin stood there, basking in the evening cool wind. His hair fluttered for a mere second as he watched the twinkling night rest at peace. 

Hyunjin’s heart tumbled and drummed against his ears. All along, he was always there, a few feet away from him. Unknowingly that the man he found peculiarly interesting was the man who has been lulling him to sleep all along. 

Petrified, Hyunjin hid behind one of the sofas, crouching down with his long lanky stature. Minho found him five seconds later.

"What are you doing? You're embarrassing me," the older sighed. Hyunjin ignores him and gestures him to go but Minho stays firm. Bottle in one hand and the other on his temples, Minho started talking again. "If you're hiding from Seungmin after discovering he's your precious Sky, then you're dumb. You've been watching him stand on the balcony for months."

Hyunjin whipped his head, "What?"

Minho clicked his tongue, took a quick swig from his drink before saying, "that's right, creep. I see you look at him, especially at Chan's parties. Besides, he's—" Minho abruptly paused, slowly closed his eyes, and rolled his tongue in his mouth, before exasperatedly sighing, "Jisung's friend." 

Hyunjin wanted to pry more, ask who this Seungmin is and how he came to be. There were so many questions swimming in his head, yet, mentioning Jisung without Minho's consent could lead them into a bigger mess. So, like any sensible twenty year old, Hyunjin crawled away from Minho. His friend watched him with amusement, following behind him. Half-way through his little escapade, Hyunjin realized he looked stupid; like he was a dog being walked by his owner, Minho. He stood up, patted his knees, and threw Minho a threatening glare. The latter simply raised his hand, "dude, it was you who suddenly decided to crawl like a mutt. If you're going to pin on someone do it more discreetly. You're projecting and he isn't even here."

Immediately, Hyunjin returned his gaze at the balcony only to see it occupied by two strangers he has never seen. Disappointed, he walked away. Then again, he was too tongue-tied to even talk to the guy let alone approach him.

* * *

After the party, after discovering Sky's identity, Hyunjin started noticing Seungmin at the most random places. He saw him many times, stolen fleeting glances at his direction, sometimes at the library, the cafeteria, but more frequently, at parties on the balcony. There were even times that when he looked up at blue skies, Seungmin's face would flash in his head, even seeing Chan, which was basically every day, triggered his mind to recall the party and that very short moment of idiocy. He was just glad that it was Minho and not Seungmin who saw him. 

It was during a lazy afternoon library visit that Hyunjin realized something different was happening to him. He sat at his usual corner, a table that always squeaked with the lightest of movement made. After swiftly sitting down, he opened his notebook and laptop, plugged in his earbuds, and played a voice recording of one of his professor's lectures. 

An hour into it, eyes watery from exhaustion, he yawns. Suddenly he heard a distinctive shushing. It prompted him to look up instinctively over his shoulder. Even though he knew he wasn't noisy, his body immediately responded. People from the other table were starting to argue by whispering aggressively. In a moment of confusion and second-hand embarrassment, Hyunjin glanced around looking for a comrade to giggle for a second with.

  
And that was when he spotted him. By the window, he sat quietly. Gently, he flipped his book but there was a very evident frown on his face. The pen between his lips chewed out of its plastic and his hair was a bird's nest. The ray of sunlight cutting through, creating this ethereal cascade around him, giving Hyunjin a clear view of Seungmin's face and— Hyunjin had to brace himself; _damn_ , he's so pretty, it hurts.

“This is ridiculous, go talk to him," Minho urged him the moment he arrived. Hyunjin heeded him no mind, too occupied with what was stirring inside him. It was so small but incredibly significant. It rattled him, sort of tugging him. It's as if his heart knew what was coming. A gentle reminder that no matter how hard he denies it, this growing percussion in his heart, he can and will never control it.

He spent the next hour or so in a state of dilemma. He _likes_ someone. Not just anyone, it's the guy he admired, talent-wise; and the guy he found interesting at parties. Was this some kind of sick joke from the heavens above? That they were the same person and that he was so beautiful. 

He also spent the next hour or so stealing fleeting glances at Seungmin's direction and decided that his paper can wait. It was too difficult to concentrate, his eyes, without any consent from him would suddenly look for any sign of Seungmin; like the way, his shirt would ride up to his stomach when he stretched for a few seconds. Boy did that do wonders to Hyunjin's mind.

For a brief second, Seungmin looks at Hyunjin, wide eyes. Hyunjin snaps his head down, toying with his pencil, taking deep shallow breaths to calm his erratic heart. Beside him, Minho chewed on his gum feint interest, teasingly tapped Hyunjin's head before silently chuckling to himself.

Seungmin left soon after, along with Hyunjin's heart at tow.

* * *

Girls. Could it be he liked girls? Soft, short, pretty in pink, girls? Hyunjin shook his head. It could be because there's this girl with Seungmin right now and she's pale as snow, her hair shines perfectly with the glow of the moon, and her smile was angelic. She was shorter than Seungmin and her hand was on his shoulder, they were even on the balcony at some engineering kid's party. She's giggling at something he said, even smacking his shoulder all too familiarly. There was a twinge in Hyunjin's heart, a certain pierce so deep he wasn't sure where it was coming from. 

He watched them while he sat on one of the spare sofas, a red cup on hand. He took a deep breath and took a long swig. When he finally emptied it, his eyes once again flew to their direction. This time Seungmin and the girl were leaning on the rail, their backs to Hyunjin. They were simply conversing, Hyunjin tried to convince himself. And they really were, but the way they grew closer together as minutes passed; as if being alone in the balcony wasn't enough.

Minho returned to his side half an hour later, more bottles in his hand. He plopped next to Hyunjin, a smile on his face, before offering him a new drink. Hyunjin gladly, without doubt, accepts. 

"Guess what?" Minho started, sweat evident from the heat of cramped bodies. Hyunjin just grunted in response.

"Oh come on man, give me a little bit of enthusiasm— you have got to be kidding with me. Again?" The face Minho made would've elicited a burst of laughter out of Hyunjin's mouth but his too preoccupied. 

"Don't worry," Minho said suddenly, wrapping one of his arms around Hyunjin. "That's Dahyun, they're best friends. Nothing more."

When he heard that, Hyunjin's head immediately snapped towards Minho. "How do you know this?" he asked.

Minho shrugged his shoulders, "Jisung. Whoops but we're not talking about that. Hyunjin my man, it's time to shoot your shot. Sure, Dahyun prefers girls but sooner or later, especially with a man like Seungmin, someone's going to snatch him away. And sadly, it won't be you."

His nose flared, maybe Minho was right. 

So, when Seungmin is left to his own devices, Hyunjin shall strike.

* * *

Imagine his surprise when Kim Seungmin walked out of the glass door, head innocently peeking, big brown eyes filled with curiosity. 

Then they started talking and Hyunjin just watches. He lets the words fly out of Seungmin’s mouth. As if entranced by every word, Hyunjin could only smile and nod his head, and if he managed to, he asked him some questions.

It was when Seungmin said he knew who Hyunjin was that really shook him to the core. Seungmin knew him and he knew Seungmin. There were so many unanswered questions, unexplored territories, but here he is now. Right in front of him, in all his full glory.

“You’re Kim Seungmin. Anthropology department. Member of the music club, our high school’s former soccer club’s vice-captain. And Sky on SoundCloud.”

After the words slip out of his mouth, Seungmin’s mouth is gaping. They close for a moment, then open once again, and then close. He finally settles by gnawing on his bottom lip, gaze focused on Hyunjin.

“S-sky? You know about that?” His voice is shaking and Hyunjin’s grip on Seungmin’s hand loosens as he lets his thumb glide across Seungmin’s palms. Hyunjin nods, excitement feeling every crevice of his soul.

"Who wouldn't? You have an amazing voice. Soft and light, like a cool breeze in a summer evening."

  
Now Seungmin is here, inches away from him— _he’s blushing._ Eyes wide sparkling in the deep night, his crooked teeth peeking, and his hands innocently hiding under the sleeves of his shirt. Hyunjin’s mind is going haywire, a speed unbearably and ridiculously fast. There are so many ideas passing by— he should go for it, grab his hand and kiss him. No. Too abrupt, sudden, he might drive him away. Flirt with him? He already is, then maybe a different approach, more suggestive and in your face. Wait, no. Again, Seungmin looks soft, delicate, almost innocent. Hyunjin wants to wrap him in the bundle of blankets and cuddle him to sleep. 

Slowly, without any second thought, Hyunjin lifts his hand, brushing the stray hair off of Seungmin’s eyes. He doesn’t flinch when Hyunjin’s hand manages to drop across his cheek, a soft delicate caress of intimacy. Even for Hyunjin, this was fast, but there’s that sheer force pulling him closer. A magnet of some sort, itching to touch him and feel his warmth against his skin. 

“Do you want to—” Hyunjin starts saying. 

“ _Seungmin!_ Are you here?”

The balcony door slides open, the bass of the music spilling out. Hyunjin doesn’t even bother looking, he takes a step back. The feeling between them, the magnet, the tension dispersing like the smoke of newly unlit candles. 

“Jisung is singing at the top of his lungs and that Minho dude is watching him!” The stranger exclaims, “you need to see it!”

Hyunjin wanted to curse, _goddamn it Minho. You and your ex._ A messy agenda no one really in their friend group talks about, let alone utter a single word of it. Hyunjin doesn’t know the whole gist, all he knows is that Jisung and Minho dated on and off. Later on, they finally decided to end it thus, they never really got the chance to meet each other’s friends. If they, however, did fix their mess, Hyunjin would’ve found it easier to meet Seungmin. Alas, here he is, trying to woo one of the most beautiful people on the planet. 

Hyunjin’s stomach sinks in disappointment. It’s not like they’re acquainted. Sure, their friends had relationships, but to each other, they’re still in a gray area. Though Hyunjin wouldn’t mind crossing that obstacle and getting to know Seungmin. He hopes Seungmin feels the same way. 

He would have loved to at least continue the conversation. There’s so much Hyunjin wants to talk about, learn, ask. Now that Seungmin is here, hands clasped against his, he selfishly wants him all to himself.

As Hyunjin was about to let go of his hand, he feels Seungmin’s grip unconsciously tightened. He then finds Seungmin looking at him expectantly, a shy overcast in his eyes, nevertheless, he speaks, “Join me?” 

Hyunjin’s heart flutters as Seungmin’s fingertips play with his wrists. It’s two simple words. It shouldn’t mean much, a kind gesture of some sort for the sudden abrupt situation. But Hyunjin could not help but wonder, was there more to those very words. A hidden meaning encapsulated deep in Seungmin’s mind? Well, if that’s the case, Hyunjin doesn’t mind finding out the wonders go inside of Seungmin’s head.

So, Hyunjin grins and lets himself be pulled by Seungmin’s touch.

* * *

The moment they step back into the dance floor, Hyunjin hears a pop song being played in the DJ booth. Chan’s manning it once again and beside him is Seungmin’s friend, Han Jisung belting to lyrics about betrayal and heartbreak, basically anything that seems to relate to his and Minho’s relationship. He thought it would sound like a wailing cat in the streets but Hyunjin has to admit, Jisung’s vocal range is extraordinary. 

In the corner of his eye, Hyunjin manages to see Minho at one side of the room, leaning on the wall. His face is unreadable. With him is Jeongin, sipping on what seems to be a cocktail.

He wants to approach his friends, but the moment Seungmin faced him, and settled amidst the crowd, he knew that he would give his undying attention to the guy in front of him. 

Seungmin smiles at him, wide and pretty in a way that makes Hyunjin feel breathless, then he does the inevitable, he starts to dance.

Seungmin isn’t a terrible dancer per se. He isn’t that good either but judging from the way he moves his torso, almost exactly to the beat of Jisung’s voice, he has a grasp on how to control his body. He might have been an athlete at some point in his life.

At first, Hyunjin just bops his head, the dancer in him completely dormant. He is simply mesmerized by how Seungmin would jump, waving his arms in the air as he harmonizes with Jisung’s voice. It’s like whiplash, but the best kind. Right here in this very moment despite the disorienting voices of partygoers and the clashing of bodies, Hyunjin is hearing him sing live. In front of him. Space so acutely close, he could see the way Seungmin would inhale in little breathes, a technique he seemed to have mastered. He is the most beautiful thing Hyunjin has ever witnessed—glassy eyes sparkling along with the party lights, pink flushed skin, and the way he effortlessly belts every single world, almost as if he was fluent in the English language. 

It’s all so tantalizing. Every second is a disaster waiting to happen but it never happens. Instead, Hyunjin gets all caught up, a whirlwind of surreal emotions. Drowning, unable to grasp his surroundings. He’s so attracted to the man in front of him that he lets one of his arms slip across Seungmin’s waist, pulling him closer. 

The lights flicker in blinding colors—red, blue, green, they zip so fast across the expanse of Seungmin’s face, tangle against his hair, the roundness of his cheeks. Out of nowhere, Hyunjin feels the burning sensation of Seungmin’s hand when he places it on Hyunjin’s shoulder.

Under the chaotic atmosphere, he finds solace in Seungmin’s voice, the way he sways the both of them to the music, and his fleeting touches. He can’t help but think, _is this even real?_

When the music changes for what seems to be the nth time, Hyunjin feeling the sweat roll down his back, they find their way back to the balcony. The cool evening air sends prickles on Seungmin’s skin, making him shiver. Instinctively, Hyunjin would have offered his jacket, sadly he didn't bring one with him. The only thing he could do was move a few inches closer, sharing his body heat with Seungmin.

The silence that settles between didn’t last long when Seungmin moved his head to take a closer look at him. 

“Are you exhausted, Mr. Dancer?” Seungmin says, discreetly catching his breath. He’s leaning on the railings, “you’ve been breathing heavily for some time now.”

Hyunjin can’t pinpoint if Seungmin is genuinely concerned or simply teasing him. Nevertheless, Hyunjin doesn't mind if it's the latter. As long as he could get the conversation going and stay a little longer by Seungmin’s side, then he doesn’t mind. 

Unable to contain the way his lips stretch out, Hyunjin ducks his head and bumps Seungmin’s shoulder in response. Seungmin is so alluringly beautiful under the moonlit sky, that Hyunjin takes time to think of a witty retort. 

In the end, he settles for something safe, “I can’t tell if you’re teasing me or not.” 

Seungmin crunches his nose, “I’m being serious. You look tired.” The way Seungmin’s eyes avoid Hyunjin’s gaze would have told him otherwise, yet the way Seungmin’s face fought a grin from breaking out gave Hyunjin enough reason to stay.

Hyunjin’s heart swells in anticipation. 

“I didn’t think you’d care enough,” Hyunjin shrugs, making Seungmin frown. “You don’t want me to care?”

Hyunjin chuckles, he takes a step closer, fully facing Seungmin with his whole body. Face to face. 

“No,” he takes one of Seungmin’s hands. “I want you to care.” 

“Really?”

“Sure, I want you to worry if I’ve eaten or if I’m sleeping well or I’m doing well in class. And I want to worry about you too, if you’re not tiring your voice, if you’re cold or too warm, what stresses you out…” Hyunjin trails off. This is it. All laid bare in front of the man he just met. God, what is he thinking? This is ridiculous. 

For a moment Seungmin just stands there, watching him. His lips are pressed, thinking. The thumping music from the inside is still loud but it does nothing to hide the ringing in his ears. 

“Oh,” Seungmin scratches the back of his head, a gentle smile on his shy face. “That's nice. Your dancing is very nice. The way you move is very mesmerizing—wait no, I meant. Never mind,” he squeaks.

Seungmin buries his head in one hand, his ears turning red. Hyunjin simply finds this amusing. 

“So we're doing compliments now huh? Well then. My turn,” Hyunjin bites his lip, containing his laughter. With the way things are currently going, it unleashes a warm feeling in Hyunjin’s stomach, traveling to his chest and into his heart.

“You have an amazing voice.”

“Right, that,” Seungmin sighs, there's a worrying knot on his eyebrows. Hyunjin wonders if he crossed a line. 

“Did I say something wrong there?”

“No, no. It's well appreciated. It's embarrassing meeting people who actually listen and like, you know, know Sky,” again, Seungmin brushes the back of his head and averts his gaze; a hobby Hyunjin has noticed when Seungmin is shy. The move thugs at Hyunjin’s heartstrings, he’s just so adorable.

“Don’t be. You're amazing. Talented, a million years ahead of anyone. I don't even understand why you’re talking to me.”

This time Seungmin smiles, “You're not so bad yourself.” 

Hyunjin could only chuckle. 

“Yeah, you’re beautiful. Have you seen yourself,” Seungmin starts to ramble again. “—everything about you is. I’ve been watching you—I mean,” after the sudden rush of words, Seungmin takes a deep shaky breath. As if he found a new resolution in him, Seungmin eyes Hyunjin intently. It almost seems like this is the only chance he got. “You are beautiful. The way you smile. Your little fits of laughter. The way you dance. How nice and friendly you are. You’re so perfect.”

It came out so naturally, the way Seungmin blushes and scoots closer, the way he looks straight at Hyunjin—they’re almost the same height, as though he wants to be kissed. 

This is too fast. They’ve only met. Sure, they’ve been running circles around each other. But then again, it feels like he’s known Seungmin all these years.

“Yeah?” Hyunjin asks.

“Yes.”

There’s a sudden commotion on the street below, it could be a cat stumbling or perhaps teenagers drunkenly stumbling on their way home. Neither cared enough to look. Hyunjin’s heart thunders. The kind that presses relentlessly against one’s ribcage, trying to break out, pulling him closer to Seungmin, dangerously close. Closer and closer, until it’s not close enough. 

This time, when he reaches out for Seungmin he doesn’t think twice. His hand slots perfectly against Seungmin’s jawline, thumb crossing the expanse of his soft cheek. Seungmin leans into it, his eyes fluttered shut, mouth releasing a shaky anticipating breath. He’s so irresistibly beautiful. He’s so beautiful like booming fireworks on a cool summer night. Loud enough to rattle Hyunjin to the core but mesmerizing enough to put him in trance. 

“Can I kiss you?” he asks, the words slipping before he could even stop himself. His heart is in his throat. For some reason, it doesn’t feel like it’s too soon, in a way that it should be. Seungmin has this force—aura around him, bewitching, the kind that is difficult to ignore. Even though his feelings at first were mostly admiration mixed in with curiosity, it developed into something more. For weeks now all he could think about is Seungmin, how he would talk to him, where he would take him to dates, what he thinks of dogs, cats are fine too as long they can have both— it didn’t matter. This feeling inside him has been ready to fly. 

Seungmin’s eyes snap wide-open, hazelnut sprinkled with the lightest of golden dust and black specs, focusing on Hyunjin. His hands find Hyunjin’s waist, squeezing it. The pressure is so electrifying that it almost makes him squirm. Then he’s nodding and nodding. And his lips are now parted, inviting.

And who is Hyunjin to say no?

The first brush of lips is gentle, playing along the safe lines, testing the water. It’s too soft and innocent for the feral feeling in Hyunjin’s chest. Then Seungmin does the impossible. He opens his lips more and something suddenly unfurls, like a flower at the first ray of sunlight. 

Hyunjin completely shuts his eyes, kissing Seungmin deeply, both hands cupping Seungmin cheeks bringing him closer. And Seungmin responds, pressing himself against Hyunjin, their body heat meshing, his tongue teasingly swipes at Hyunjin’s bottom lip, hands crawling up to tag on Hyunjin’s long hair. Hyunjin sighs in contentment. He tastes sweet and warm—made with tea and honey. 

They kiss and kiss until one of them loses breath. Hyunjin doesn’t recall who let go first, all he could gather is Seungmin’s pink cheeks, heavy breathing, and the blinding smile on his face. Unsatisfied, Seungmin grabs his shirt and with such sheer force, once again kisses Hyunjin. 

The mess is now gone, there’s a soft rhythm this time. It feels like they’ve been doing this for years. Seungmin’s lips slot perfectly against Hyunjin’s perfectly. If only they could stay like this a little longer. When they separate, Hyunjin leans on Seungmin’s foreheads, panting. 

“I— well, shit I forgot what I was supposed to ask,” Seungmin stutters, eyes still closed. Hyunjin takes this to heart, does it mean the kiss was simple enough to blow Seungmin’s mind? 

“Yeah, whatever the fuck it is yeah.” 

Seungmin laughs, melodically, “I want more. Is it weird that I don’t want this to be a one-time thing?”

The words slightly hurt Hyunjin, how could Seungmin think of that— “no. I feel the same. I want more.” He says it reassuringly. God, he never wants Seungmin to feel like he isn’t enough, that he’s just a one-time thing. 

When he hears it, Seungmin smiles, all pretty, and soft. Hyunjin grins as well swooping down to capture Seungmin’s lips once again. 

* * *

The thing is, there was no plan. The only one on his list was wait for Seungmin and that was it. No matter how many times Hyunjin imagined scenarios in his head it all ended up empty.

 _Do you trust me?_ It sounded cliche and overall stupid but Hyunjin was in a rush and was overwhelmed with feelings he forgot how his mind should work. The question was answered with a quick nod, Seungmin immediately reached for his hand, and with a hitch of breath and a scramble attempt to get out of Chan’s room, they fled the party; not a hint of farewell to their companions. 

Hyunjin has never walked this fast and all agonizingly long at the same time. Seungmin sighs. It’s a cold night and none of them had their jackets with them. But Hyunjin feels like he’s on fire, Seungmin’s lingering lips igniting his every sense. So, he suddenly pushes Seungmin against a wall on a completely empty street and kisses him until Seungmin is pliant in his arms, all warm and fuzzy. Finding Seungmin’s hand, he drags him along the street, eyes always on him, afraid that he isn’t real, just a figment of Hyunjin’s imagination. 

When they enter Hyunjin’s apartment, white light flashing on, washing over Seungmin’s face. This time Hyunjin can finally look at him clearly without the obscuring party lights; he’s still grinning and gripping onto Hyunjin’s shirt. It’s quieter here, he could hear Seungmin inhale and exhale while he discards his shoes. 

They kiss more on the sofa, Seungmin straddling him biting his lips, leaving trails of soft little kisses on his neck, on every finger. Later on, they find themselves curled on Hyunjin’s small bed. The white sheets pooling around Seungmin, the moonlight once again casting a soft overflow around him. He looks ethereal, otherworldly, and all possible synonyms that come across Hyunjin’s mind.

The bed feels cramped but Seungmin’s presence is perfect as if he was meant to be on Hyunjin’s side, looking at him with content. 

They never got past kissing and fleeting touches— _too fast,_ Seungmin voiced out hours ago. And Hyunjin respects that, he can wait a little more. Besides, Seungmin’s here, his warm breath fanning Hyunjin’s face. 

The current of hazy sleepiness doesn’t occur to Hyunjin until deeper into the night. When Seungmin’s hand that has been lazily playing with the strands of Hyunjin’s hair drops, Hyunjin grabs it and kisses Seungmin’s palm. Then his forehead and finally his lips. Seungmin stirs a little, brows furrowing and Hyunjin thinks he doesn’t mind watching Seungmin slumber every single night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> —wow, you made it here. congratulations!  
> —hyunjin: i like him he makes me feel things boom boom pow pow woosh feelings  
> —seungmin: he cute; wanna tap dat ass but im shy af  
> —ha! im not going to write anything pass kissing; passing that threshold isn't for me. (yes, im old enough for that shit, waaay old, but im not comfortable writing about it heh. let's keep it PG-13 okay kids?)  
> —ive been writing this on and off (during online classes, after doing my duties for a uni publication, or before i go to bed)  
> —i apologize for any mistakes. i did not edit this at all. writing is hard for a writing major. it makes you loathe every single word.  
> —the next chapter is going to be a short epilogue  
> —let me know what your thoughts are in the comments or you can talk to me on [ twt ](https://twitter.com/jenseungs)


	3. epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short snippet after last night's endeavour

Seungmin wakes with a sudden thump in his heart. It’s a frenzy, an unknown drumming beating against his chest. Checking his symptoms— no shortness of breath, no resounding headache; sure his throat is dry, his lips are throbbing and there’s a certain stinging in his neck, but nothing serious. 

The smell of something, no someone catches his attention. This isn’t his usual—he quickly looks around, white walls, his dorm room had wooden walls not a plaster of white with littered posters of various video games and bands, shelves propped with action figures, books, and photos he cannot see clearly. 

He rubs his eyes and looks to his right, his heartbeat echoing in his ears, and then there’s a scream that hangs in his throat. 

_Hyunjin_.

* * *

Hyunjin feels a rustle beside him, it’s slow but cautious, nevertheless, it's enough to stir him awake. He burrows himself deeper into his warm, soft sheets. He rubs the remainders of sleep from his eyes, then he stretches— a hand. 

His head shoots up from the sea of white fluff, his hair in disarray, his eyes blurry, but his heart, in a loud beating conundrum, wakes his every sense. He isn’t alone and Hyunjin basks in the ecstasy of that very thought. 

It’s warm, almost familiar, he lets his fingers curl around the hand and squeezes it tight. 

Seungmin looks at him, wide eyes, and a slight of pink on each cheek. 

It’s the smallest thing that a person never notices, like how a human being’s eyes can focus and refocus at will. The way only Hyunjin could look at Seungmin who’s drowning in one of Hyunjin’s shirts, his blinking small eyes, his fluffed hair sticking at all corners. Hyunjin doesn’t even look at his beeping phone or the mess around his room. His eyes, automatically, without a doubt zeroes in on Seungmin, nothing else.

“Hey,” Hyunjin smiles and Seungmin inches away, yet their hands are still attached like a pair of locks.

“Hey,” Seungmin echoes softly, a little grin on his puffy face.

“So?” Hyunjin trails, letting his thumb glide along the expanse of Seungmin’s warm skin, feeling smooth and rough edges of it. “Breakfast?” 

Seungmin raises an eyebrow, “Hm?”

“I make a mean scrambled egg, Minho says so.”

There’s a chuckle, “all right, but Chan warned me that you almost burned his flat down.”

“Excuse me! He’s the one who placed the plastic container near the stove!” He defends immediately. 

Then Hyunjin realizes what Seungmin just said and looks at him, like really looks at him.

“You talked to Chan about me but you’ve only met a few times he wouldn't tell that story to anyone, unless—”

Without letting Hyunjin finish, Seungmin scrambles to get up from the bed with such speed, he simply fumbles around the sheets and pillows and falls face-first near Hyunjin’s body. 

“What,” Seungmin mumbles out of nowhere, eyes peeking under the hazelnut wave of his hair. 

“What,” Hyunjin replies lamely, words simply falling out of his mouth, losing meaning.

“I didn't mean to make things awkward but this is you know wow— I’ve never been in the same room with the person I like this long and well, alone. And for years, you cannot comprehend how long, it's so embarrassing, but I’ve liked you since high school and it's utterly ridiculous,” Seungmin drops in one go, without even catching a breath. 

Hyunjin blinks.

“You—Me, since _high school_?” Hyunjin asks comically, his voice raising a higher pitch than usual. Seungmin's blush turns into a deeper shade of red and Hyunjin bites the inside of bus cheeks, a feeble attempt at hiding a blooming smile on his face.

“Yes.” 

Hyunjin just stares, completely in awe, thrilled even. 

“I— you know,” Hyunjin starts talking, inching closer to Seungmin, lifting Seungmin’s hand to his cheeks. “I’ve always watched you by the balconies; mesmerized. Then I discovered Sky on a random night and everything just fell into place and well, I started just watching you. I know it sounds weird.”

“Oh,” there’s a small smile that adorns Seungmin's face; beautiful and soft against the morning light.

Someone's phone vibrates and rings in the background, piercing through the morning silence, but Hyunjin ignores this in favor of dragging Seungmin closer until their foreheads touch with a gentle thump.

“I think—no,” Hyunjin gulps. “I really like you, Seungmin.” 

Hyunjin says it with all his heart and it's scary, terrifying even. When he falls in love, he doesn't just fall, he falls so hard that he cares too deeply, and fuzzes over the smallest things that shouldn't bother him. And falling for someone he barely knew, whom he only saw snippets of him in the corner of his eyes, through conversation with their mutual friends, or heard his voice to lull him to sleep. Yet, the moment those words tumble out of his mouth, there's a glint in Seungmin's eyes, he doesn't pull away, and this makes Hyunjin’s heart flooded with warmth. Then Seungmin smiles, and Hyunjin realizes that maybe free-falling isn’t so bad, taking chances and risking it—risking for Seungmin. Sure, there’ll be pain, hurt, and misunderstandings but Hyunjin is sure that the happiness, the adventures, learning new things, the joy from the small moments, and the very idea that Seungmin is here, who’s also ready to risk it. 

Seungmin bites his lips as if fighting a smile and unabashedly says, “Lucky for you, I really like you too.”

And Hyunjin kisses him; softer and less desperate, as if he’s terrified that Seungmin might slip out of his grasps—like a message, _everything will be alright._

“We should really go on a date first,” Hyunjin whispers against the soft of Seungmin’s lips. Seungmin simply chuckles and cups Hyunjin’s right cheek. 

“I’d love that,” Seungmin breathes.

In complete bliss, Hyunjin breaks out into a goofy grin, he nudges their noses together. “Great,” he whispers while getting lost in the giddy feeling that seems to be overflowing inside him. He feels lightheaded but in a good way and hopelessly weak by Seungmin’s touch, the only thing that comes to his mind is to kiss him. Thus, Hyunjin did. 

And he kisses him and kisses him, till their out of breath, until someone stomach growls but they can't tell who, until the sunlight slowly changed its position, until their phones start blaring, disturbing the silence, the comfort they both had around each other. And Hyunjin doesn't mind it when Seungmin pulls away, fishing for his phone in the pool of clothes at the end of the bed, or how his eyebrows furrow in confusion and then amusement, or how Seungmin crawls back to him in the bed; curl into his side as he scrolls through his phone. 

Hyunjin doesn't mind it at all if they do this everyday, until time wears out and the sun finally explodes. As long as he has Seungmin, he doesn't mind anything at all.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> —wow you've made it to the end! thank you for reading this  
> —tbh, i wrote this for practice, so it isn't polished or perfect. i just wanted to try and write something more serious and more in the "feels"  
> —your comments and kudos are appreciated!
> 
> [ twitter ](https://twitter.com/jenseungs)  
> [ cc ](https://curiouscat.me/jenofullsun)  
> 


	4. bonus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the unused social media posts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> —hello! here are the unused social media posts i made  
> —tbh i wanted to make this story a socmed au but decided to write it here anyway as some sort of practice  
> —i also felt like it'd be a waste not to show these so ta-dah!!  
> —enjoy!! and thanks for reading :D  
> —also ignore the weird time stamps lol

The morning:

* * *

The aftermath and the unused:


End file.
